My Natural Hair Journey and Mindfulness - The early years
Of course your hair doesn’t have to be natural to practice mindfulness! However for me it was one of the first intention filled decisions that I made about my own wellness as an adult. Who would have thought that I would have walked into my PWI with relaxed hair and out with the puff! I wish I had a good revolutionary story for you, one where I was trying to stick it to the man and prove that I was “black and I’m proud”. I mean those are some of the reasons that I remain natural but its definitely not the reason that I started.
JOURNEY
I remember getting my hair straightened with a hot comb by my grandmother and relaxed by my god mother at age 5. My god-sisters and I would get our hair relaxed on the same day. 3 perm boxes, 3 little girls with me being in the middle. I would hold a small wash cloth over my eyes and squeeze my eyes shut for dear life so that it didn’t burn my eyes. I wish the towel could have protected the burns that I received on my scalp over the years. By age 10 I was indoctrinated into the monthly visits at the Dominican hair salon, wash and sets with a rotation of relaxers. As I got older and started using my own money those visits moved up to bi weekly so that my “duby wrap” could stay fresh! I was known for my fresh wraps with the part in the middle, my good grades and big booty. What more could a black girl from the south Bronx ask for???
PATIENCE and COLLABORATION
I went to college and the upkeep became a struggle. Going to a PWI meant no more well priced Dominican salons but it did mean pricey sessions in fellow black girls dorm rooms. Every time I went home I would get a fresh wrap and would spring for the deep conditioner. Every time I would return back to college there would be sores on my scalp but I was loyal and I just knew that if i tried the right combination of something it would no longer burn. I would ask that they “base my scalp “ more, leave the relaxer in for less in time, use a “kiddie” relaxer, give me a few months in between relaxers. Anything to stop the burn but stay fly lol!
INTENTION AND KINDNESS
One day i started to share my frustration with my college friends and two of them suggested that I “go natural”. They were natural and seemed happy so I jumped at the opportunity to try something new without burns. Keep in mind that this was like 2003/2004 before you tubes debut in 2005 so i had no clue what this meant or what i would look like lol. My boyfriend at the time was clear that he wouldn’t like it. My mother was a tad bit skeptical and my cousin shared her concerns around us no longer looking alike. I even had a college friend tell me that there was no way I would get a job with my hair but i stayed the course. I walked across the stage in 2005 with braids in my hair and returned back to New York with a plan to rock my hair however it decided to grow. My scalp felt good and wash and go’s were Queen!
Transition and Acceptance
It was time to look for work and I decided that I should straighten my hair just a little, no longer with a relaxer but back to the good ole hot-comb. I wanted to smooth out the roots a bit and pin it back. Again this is pre-YouTube and pre asking google for all answers lol. I also didn’t know any women in New York that could help. My salon that I had been loyal to for years told me my hair was” no good” and that i should relax it. I started to get braids regularly and even they were talking about relaxing and texturizing it for easier braiding. Mean while this was a New York Summer where the steam was coming off of the ground and every-time I made it to an interview I looked completely different from how I left the house. These experiences left me frazzled especially because I wasn’t landing any full time work. Finally one day I decided that i wasn’t going to straighten my hair not one bit for an interview and I was keeping my nose ring in too! I got that job! A year later I wore my puff even bigger and got another job! 5 years after I wore a red and black afro and got that job too!
I am thankful for no more burns and standing firm. More importantly I am thankful for the patience, kindness, collaboration and care that my hair has taught me. My hair care routine was the start of my very first mindfulness practice.